Misunderstandings about the Internet

The Internet rage has hit the mainstream. Unfortunately, nobody seems to know what it is. The following customer comments are attributed to students at a university campus computer store in the US....

Customer: "I'd like to buy the Internet. Do you know how much it is?"
Customer: "Can you copy the Internet for me on this diskette?"
Customer: "I would like an Internet please."
Customer: "I just got your Internet in the mail today..."
Customer: "I just downloaded the Internet. How do I use it?"
Customer: "I don't have a computer at home. Is the Internet available in book form?"
Customer: "Will the Internet be open on Memorial Day tomorrow?"
Customer: "We're getting an Internet from you. Are you guys having any problems sending out your Internets?"
Customer: "The Internet is running too slow. Could you reboot it please?"
Customer: "We're going on holiday for three months, can you suspend the Internet for us please?"
Customer: "I have a problem with my Internet. Anyone know how to get the screens smaller?"
Customer: "What do you mean I have to pay for Internet access?"
Customer: "I lost my Internet. I switched it off last night and turned on this morning, and it's gone. I just paid $19.95 a month, and I have lost it already. Can you send me another one?"
Customer: "The Internet site's giving me a busy signal!"
Customer: "Every time I call you I get disconnected from the Internet!"